Dr Carr is a GP specialising in family health in St Kilda, Victoria, Australia. Dr Carr has previously lectured in medicine at The University of Melbourne. London trained, Dr Carr moved to Melbourne in 88.
Published in numerous subjects including but not limited to sore throats, computing, baby sleep programs, enema (we will have to get into that one), sport, psychotherapy and more… He has a particular interest in the issues facing first-time fathers.
So much so Dr Carr published a book on the subject called ‘What Happens Now? The essential guide for first time fathers”.
Dr Carr not only practices medicine in the field but has 21 years of fatherhood experience with his 3 children.
I take Dr Carr through the standard Fired Up Dads questions, but I let the discussion guide itself given we have access to a true parenting specialist.
A candid interview exploring many aspects of parenting – DO NOT MISS THIS ONE.
Key Points of Interview
Type of Dad
Dr Carr believes he know more now than he ever knew before as a parent of over 25 years. Nick believes you have two choices:
- You either replicate what your parents did; or
- You change things just a little bit.
Nick considers he took the later and is relieved to have children that have not rejected him completely.
Toughest Dad moment.
In Nick’s year’s of experience as a parent and in the parents he works with he finds ‘time’ is the biggest struggle. Nick discusses the pressure families feel financially, socially and periodically.
Nick believes his biggest struggle was time. He did choose to do a Masters very soon after the birth of his first child which added to the pressure, but he talks about the fathers’ he works with struggling to determine the amount of time they need to spend with this new arrival.
Toughest Dad Moment
Nick’s toughest Dad moment was with his own Dad. Nick tells how his father was great in the early years, but how he became envious of Nick and his brother, displaying significant anger.
When Nick got older he challenged his father on this matter…
His father provided a reason, but Nick felt that the reason did not make sense and later when discussing it with his wife, they concluded that he was just providing an answer to rid the matter and that he had not come to terms with his son becoming older and surpassing his capability.
Nick discusses the significance of this occurrence and how he did not want the same to occur with his son. Nick tells the story of the moment this experience came back and affected the way he handled a similar situation with his own son.
The discussions evolve into son’s beating their father and their mental and emotional growth.
Tell me the story about how you and your partner created balance in your relationship? What is the key to maintaining a good relationship?
Nick met his wife when he was in his early years as a paediatrician. His wife an Australian National was a paediatric social worker in the hospital – they hit it off.
When they moved to Australia they had two children quickly.
Nick then discusses the eventual arrival of his third child and how when a woman feels she needs to have a third child it is nature, not logical.
What Nick learnt from this was that men look at things very logical and woman are more intuitive.
Give the listeners your experience in balancing career and family. What in your opinion is the key?
Nick again raises time as the key to balancing career and family. He talks about his discussions with the Dads he works with to determine how much time they are going to spend t=with their children.
Nick himself reduced his work by a day a week to spend more time with his family.
He talks about the importance of Dads embracing time.
Nick quotes an anonymous author saying ‘No teenager ever turned round to their father and thanked them for spending time at the office or for providing for them.
I also quote Dino Watts (Entrepreneur in the family space):
‘There is no success outside of the family that will compensate for failure within’.
Nick holds talks for first time fathers through the City of Port Phillip (Link Here). Nick describes great attendance to these talks.
Nick from an early age knew he did not want to be a father sitting on the peripheral of his children’s lives and discusses an experience at the age of 5 years that impacted this thinking significantly.
This story will make you think about the roles we take as parents.